#milstone

In 2007 my Grandmother says in her sweet voice, now Liz have you ever thought of getting your own apartment. I paused in shock, no ma'am I haven't. (We have all had our share time with staying with Grandmother. I thought I was the thing to do.) She peaked my curiosity and I begin the search of my first apartment. It was for $325 a month. It was in an old Victorian house they had renovated into 4 one bed room apartments. If you had the pleasure of visiting me. You walked in to what should have been the bed room, then into a doorway with another room attached to a bathroom and the kitchen. I remember telling myself humble begins. At the time I was only able to afford the most expensive air mattress....haha. It was a microfiber  queen sized and everything! Tomorrow I will be moving once again into my first apartment. The first apartment with no fear, no anxiety, no sex addiction, no worry and  no husband. It's our first apartment, my Kamea and me. Oh and the best part!!!! I wa able to buy me another queen sized bed!!!! An actual one, I can afford an actual queen size bed. Look at me maturing and stuff. #milstone #greatness #itistime

Convenience or Obedience?

Instead of Cain giving God the sacrifice he wanted, an animal. Cain gave God what was convenient for him, vegetables. It's more convenient for me to critique others speeches rather than give one but God gave me the anointing to speak. When I speak from my heart, I speak in compassion and authority. But when I speak in fear, my message is usually unclear.  

I want to be obedient to the call of God and stop allowing fear of my reputation to hold me back from being the true me. Therefore, I'm no longer going to speak from my convenience, but in full obedience to his call!

Power Thought

"When we allow fear to rule us, we unwittingly receive what Satan has planned for our lives. 

But when we live by faith through grace, God is able to work His divine plan in us. 

Whatever you need to do today, lean on God and let Him empower you to be successful." 

Power Thought: By God’s grace I have the skills to do all He asks of me with ease.

From the book Power Thoughts Devotional by Joyce Meyer. Copyright © 2010 by Joyce Meyer. Published by FaithWords. All rights reserved.

I will remain

It is really important to not only know who you are, but to stand firm in it. There will come a moment, or many moments, when you will make a decision that those who love you won't understand. That those who held your hand, shed a tear with you and prayed for the decision, will still doubt. When you explain it to your friends it won't make sense. When you evaluate it, there is no logic behind it. If there is only one person who gets it or no one who is wise enough to show you, and God told you to remain, remain in his will. No one but God knows the ending. Stand firm and receive the blessing that is rightfully yours. God is testing your obedience to him, not to anyone of this world. Be ready, be aware. Learn and grow into your blessing. 

Stature

When I was seventeen to about twenty, I was in a 9 month discipleship program called Masters Commission. A part of the program we would travel and host youth conferences. For the conferences we had an icebreaker called bus stop some of us tried out for. I somehow won the approval of both my leaders to be the main character. The theme that year was "Identity". I would come out to the bus stop singing a song, minding my own business. Another person would come along singing their song. Before I knew it, I was singing and dancing along with them, forgetting my song. This happened several times before I got overwhelmed and confused with who I was that I would shake uncontrolably and fall on the floor. As I laid there numb, afraid and confused, Jesus comes and says. "Remember who you are, in me." 

During this time I didn't understand the impact of this icebreaker. It was hilarious! One of my leaders would come out in a one piece outfit and we would sing and dance to Michael Jackson and we would do the kid and play. The guy who played Jesus would call me Cletus to get my attention and we both would laugh a little before he said his line. We did the ice breaker so often it just became entertaining and I was never able to hear how my pastor would tie it into the message. 

When I was 25 I realized the character I played in years ago was now my reality. Everything about me was someone else's song. I was caught up in entertaining the lies and false identity created, that behind closed doors I found myself lying there numb, afarid, confused and voiceless.  Masters was my best and worst times of my life. I finally felt comfortable enough to use my voice, but because I didn't know my voice I disrespected my leaders and misused my leadership. I ended up being dismissed from the program. Yet it was there for the first time that when I got up to speak I was confident and courageous! 

Although I know my identity, and know my voice and helping others to know there voice, my identity isn't just about the knowledge and wisdom that comes out of my mouth, it's also about my stature. At the end of Luke chapter 2 it says, Jesus grew in wisdom and stature. Stature is the degree of development of a person: the stature of a champion. Or the quality or status gained by growth, development, or achievement. A persons natural height in an upright position. Jesus was a great man of wisdom and of stature.

I realize that it is impossible for me to bring people into whom they are created to be without fully being who I am created to be in both wisdom and stature. It's not just knowing your voice, it's knowing yourself. Therefore, however my weight needs to be perceived. It needs to be dealt with. I need to live out Luke 2:52; it's time I get back to my natural upright position, by building and developing, a good quality of health, of stature, by growth and achievement! I know who I am in godly wisdom, it's time to get to know the true Liz in stature! 

Our authentic self

To be our authentic self and experience authentic relationships we must come out of the dark and live in the light. We tend to use darkness to hide our hurts, faults, fears, failures, and flaws. However, in God's light, we can bring them all out into the open and admit who we really are. 

The first step is to acknowledge we are in the dark, hiding, to ourselves, and that we are in need of a savior. When we can be real with ourselves it will help us speak out and be real with others. For too long we have been waiting for some person to come rescue us from our darkness when we have been the ones keeping ourselves in the dark. God has already sent his son to rescue us, he has given us light and freedom. We just don't think we deserve it. We can't see ourselves outside of our situation. 

It is time for you to get out of your darkness, speak out and know your voice so you can know your worth. God has said, before I formed you in the womb I knew you. I set you apart. I know the plans I have for you, to give you a future and a hope. Are you ready to be the authentic you and experience authentic relationships? Are you ready to admit who you really are so you can start living out the plans God has for you? 

If you answered yes, confess to God, to yourself and to someone else your hurts, faults, fears, failures, and flaws. Pray, pray for each other so that you may be healed. For the earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.”

(James 5:16 NLT)

What's the course of your life?

I'm reading this book on parenting called Shepherding a Child's Heart by Tedd Tripp. I just completed a chapter that talks about the shaping influences and the response to them. Although as a parent we may develop a structure to have the most positive shaping influences at home. Shaping influences are also outside of the home and outside of our parental control. However, the response our child has to those influences are in our control. My mom for example used Bible verses to get us to do things.  She would say, "the bible says obey thy mother and thy father and your days will be long on earth, now go take this money over to that apartment and ask for a dime sack." It confused the heck out of me when I went to church how to view Gods word. I had to unlearn a lot. My point is this. My siblings responded to the shaping influences of our upbringing by drugs and alcohol. It was what we were taught. I responded to the shaping influences of our upbringing through biblical teaching because it was what we were exposed to and what I sought out personally for a deeper true understanding of Gods word. Due to that, when it comes to shaping influences now as an adult I respond biblically.  We all respond some way to shaping influences in our life. How we respond however,  determines the course of our life.